December 5, 2016
Krampusnacht

BIRTHDAYS
Fritz Lang 1890
Alvy Moore 1921
Larry Zbyszko 1951

NEW MAGAZINES
All titles below are new to the store but those with a * are also newly published.

*10/19/16 Conspiracy Theories: Everything you know is wrong.
*10/19/16 How It Works Book of Aircraft: Military · Commercial · Spacecraft.
*10/19/16 Black Guns 2017: Suppressors · Uppers · Mags · Optics, etc.
*10/18/16 Best of Hobby Farms Holiday: The ultimate country Christmas.
10/13/16 Kazoo: A magazine for girls who aren’t afraid to make some noise.
10/12/16 Land: Legendary Living.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM READING MAGAZINES TODAY

The average car has about 25,000 parts.
— Dec./Jan. National Geographic KiDS

Scientists have named 7 newly discovered species after Barack Obama.
— December Harper’s

City Newsstand’s HEADLINE WORLD
As always, 100% T.R.U.E.! (Trumped-up, Reliably Unreliable & Ersatz)

Marriage made in Heaven: BETSY MARRIES MURGATROYD

THE FERAL ZEBRAS IN CALIFORNIA ARE UP TO SOMETHING

‘PHANTOM DIAMOND THIEF’ TURNS OUT TO BE 13 Y.O. COCKER SPANIEL

CONSPIRACY THEORIST MOMENTARILY REMOVES TINFOIL HAT AND INSTANTLY DECIDES HE DOESN”T NEED IT ANYMORE!

NEW iPHONE CAN MAKE PERFECTLY POACHED EGGS

Weekly Words of Wisdom

How much bigger would giraffes be if they came from Texas?

Fictitious Customer of the Week 

Will N. Testament